The Dragonfly Guest Register
by LanieSullivan
Summary: A series of one-shots imagining what "guest stars" from other shows might pay a visit to the Dragonfly and interact with the residents of Stars Hollow. While this is a crossover, it is not strictly categorized as one as it will cross many fandoms by the time it's complete. A bit ridiculous, but intended purely for comedy purposes. I hope you enjoy.
1. Winchester Whoops

_Gilmore Girls_ is the property of Amy Sherman-Palladino and Warner Bros. Television. _Supernatural_ is owned by Kripke Enterprises, Wonderland Sound and Vision and Warner Bros. Television. This work is intended strictly for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

AN: This is the first installment in what will be a series of one-shots outlining the adventures of several "guest stars" in Stars Hollow. I have not labeled this as a crossover because it will cross more than one fandom.

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Lorelai smiled her best hostess smile as she handed a credit card back to her newest check-ins, two young men, while Sookie silently eyed one of them in awe. "Thank you, Mr. Messina, enjoy your stay at the Dragonfly."

Dean Winchester flashed her his charming, flirty smile and replied, "We will, thank you." He picked up his bag with an expectant look at his brother. who hesitated at the front desk, noticing how the two women were staring at him.

Sam cleared his throat loudly and asked, "So, have either of you ladies seen anything strange around here lately?"

Lorelai scoffed "This is Stars Hollow. Take your pick of strange."

Sam pulled out his FBI badge and gave her a bashful smile with his patented doe-eyed look. "Well, this is part of an ongoing FBI investigation. can you be more specific?"

Lorelai eyed the badge. "I see, Agent...Loggins." She rolled her eyes as it hit her that these two were no more FBI agents than she was. _Loggins and Messina. Who do they think they're kidding?_ she thought, but wanting to see what they were up to, replied, "Well, you know, I just meant... you know...small town...things are always strange. If I seen anything stranger than normal, I'll let you know." She stepped from behind the desk and clapped him on the back. "So, you're in room 7...top of the stairs." She nodded to the stairs and gave him a little nudge, then stepped back to where Sookie was waiting to go over menu plans with her.

Sookie whispered to Lorelai, "Speaking of strange, doesn't that guy look like-"

"Uh-huh, I was just thinking the same thing, but it can't be because he's out in the barn helping Parker fix Cletus' stall from where he busted through it."

"Again? Man, that horse does not like to be penned up, does he?"

"Well, he was born free, you know?" She crept around the corner to watch the Winchesters as they ascended the stairs with Sookie close behind her. "Besides, I don't think Dean even owns a suit and tie." She nodded to the two guys and the suits they were wearing for their FBI personas.

"True." Sookie acknowledged as she shuddered a bit. "I know they say everyone has a twin somewhere, but man!" The two women stared up the stairs after their retreating figures until they were out of sight.

"Weird," Lorelai stated after they had disappeared into their room. "So, you were asking about who we've got coming in so you can plan the menu?"

"Right!" Sookie nodded. She gave a brief glance back to the stairs. "So what do you think a Dean doppelganger likes to eat?"

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As they walked down Main Street toward the diner, Sam was looking at the printout that he'd pulled from the online version of the Stars Hollow Gazette and was explaining, "So, according to this, our victim was last seen on Sunday when she left church services and no one's seen or heard from her since. She has no family here and the local minister...one Reverend Archie Skinner, got concerned when she didn't show up for evening services."

"A minister named Archie...Gotta love that one," Dean commented dryly as they entered Luke's.

At hearing the bell on the door, Luke looked up from where he was pouring coffee, nodded to Sam and as he bustled by them to move onto the next table, greeted him, "Hey, Dean. It's a little busy today, just find any seat that's open."

Panic-stricken Dean looked to Sam and hissed to his brother, "What the hell, Dude?"

Sam tried to sooth his older brother. "Don't panic, don't panic. Let's just sit down and act like everything's normal, okay?"

"Normal?" Dean reached into his pocket grasping the hilt of his demon-killing knife, poised and ready to use it if necessary. "Since when is anything in our lives ever normal?"

"I mean, let's just stay calm until we know what's what, okay? We don't wanna set off a panic." He then grinned at his brother. "Besides, didn't you say you wanted to come in here because one of the locals said this guy serves the best pie on the planet?"

Dean nodded, "Well, I'm always up for pie."

"Good." Sam breathed a sigh of relief as they found a table and sat down.

Dean, still with his hand poised to whip out the knife, questioned, "You think he's the demon we're looking for?"

Sam glances to Luke who was still refilling coffee cups. "He's not acting very demon-y"

"Well, Come on, Sam, it's not like they wear signs saying, 'Hi, I'm possessing some poor small-town innocent bastard.' Besides, how else would he know my real name?"

"Look, Dean, we don't even know that it's a demon we're after." He nodded to Dean's hand placement. "All we know is that there was a disappearance...right?"

Dean finally relaxed his grip on the knife just as Luke walked over to them. "Yeah, you're right."

"Coffee?" Luke asked.

Smiling stiffly, Dean answered, "Uh...yeah...That'd be good."

Luke poured coffee for both of them and turned to Sam, asking, "Who's your friend, Dean?"

Sam, exchanging a confused look with Dean, sputtered, "Uh...this is...uh...Sam...he's...uh...an...old friend."

"From when you lived in Chicago?" Luke asked as he finished pouring.

Sam brightened. "Uh, yeah...Chicago. That's it."

"Is he helping keep Cletus penned up?"

Sam and Dean exchanged 'what the hell' looks. "Um...Cletus?"Dean questioned.

"Guess not," Luke shrugged. Done with polite small talk, he got right back to business. "You guys know what you want yet?"

"Uh...we're...uh...gonna' need a minute to look."

Luke gave him a sideways glance. "As much as you come in here, you oughtta have the whole damn menu memorized by now, especially since you dated Rory."

"Uh...yeah...but you know...Sam here...he doesn't."

"I'm surprised to see you in here at all today, to tell you the truth. Doesn't Lorelai usually feed you when you work for her at the inn? I figured with as big a job as it is keeping Cletus from flying the coop, she and Sookie would have given you free reign in the kitchen."

"Uh, but...uh...Sam here...he was just dying for some of your pie...cause you know, he heard all about it."

Luke shook his head. "Whatever, but don't think I'm going to give you free food just because Lorelai's my girlfriend. You're not working for me; you're working for her. Now, I've got other customers to take care of so just flag me down when you're ready to order."

As Luke walked away, Dean blurted out, "Holy crap, Dude! We've got more than just a disappearance going on here! Who the hell is Cletus and why are they keeping him prisoner?"

Sam pulled his laptop out of his bag and opened it up to see if he'd overlooked something on the Stars Hollow Gazette's website only to find that he had no internet connection. "Crap! No Wi-Fi in here!" He put the computer away, then reached into his pocket for his Blackberry.

"OUT!" Luke shouted and pointed to the door.

"What?" Sam looked at him, startled while Dean jumped up and reached for his knife again.

"Dean, come on! You know the rules!" Luke gestured wildly to the 'No cell phones' sign on the wall. "So, take it outside!"

Again relaxing, Sam nodded. "Yeah...outside." He glanced at Dean, picked up his laptop bag and the pair headed out to the sidewalk.

Dean's eyes grew wide as he spotted a figure exiting the hardware store. "Holy-" He nudged Sam to get his attention and pointed.

"What the hell?" He and his brother stared at Dean Forester as he was stopped on the street by the owner of the inn who'd checked them in earlier in the day. "What are we thinking? Shifter?"

"Sure as hell looks that way," Dean answered as he walked to his "baby," his trusty Impala, opened the trunk and began rummaging through the cache of weapons stored there. Sam stowed his phone back in his pocket and dropped his bag into the open trunk as his brother handed him a silver knife before closing the lid.

Armed with his own silver knife, Dean turned to his brother and stated firmly, "Let's do this!"

"I thought we had plenty of nails at the inn," Lorelai was saying to Dean.

"You do, but they're too small for th-." His statement was abruptly cut off as he was rushed by the two Winchesters. "What the hell?"

"Oh, my God," Lorelai exclaimed, stepping back as she pulled out her phone. She quickly snapped a picture of the action and after sending it, dialed Rory's dorm.

"Rory, you are not going to believe this. Did you get the picture I just sent you?"

"WOW! I miss all the good stuff," Rory replied as she examined the picture.

"Well, that's what you get for being such a smarty pants up there in your smarty pants school." Lorelai cringed as she watched the Winchesters pin Dean up against the wall of the hardware store and muttered, "Ouch!" At seeing one of the men raise a knife, she cried, "Holy crap! I think they're gonna' stab him! Do you think I should jump in and help? I mean, Dean is _your_ ex-boyfriend." She made a face as she watched the two Deans struggle over the knife while Sam held Dean Forester against the wall.

"He may be my ex, but I still don't want him to get stabbed. You should do something."

Lorelai saw Luke rushing out of the diner. "Never mind. Looks like Luke's got it. Man, I need some popcorn for this!"

Luke jumped into the fray with a "What the hell is going on?" and pulled Sam off of Dean Forester just as Dean Winchester had made contact with the other Dean's bare hand with the knife.

"That's what I'd like to know," Dean Forester snapped angrily as he babied his now bleeding hand.

Sam and his brother looked at one another in confusion when they saw that the other man's only reaction to the silver knife was bleeding.

Rory, at her mother being silent called into her phone, "Mom, what's going on?"

Lorelai, still watching the scene, answered, "Rats, Luke broke the whole thing up just when it was starting to get good."

"Well, Luke _is_ a good guy," Her daughter replied.

"Oh, Lord, here comes Taylor," Lorelai grumbled as she saw the Town Selectman exiting his market. "Now, the fun's over for sure." By this time, many of the other townies had exited the surrounding businesses to see what the commotion was all about.

As Taylor approached, Luke was still shouting at the Winchesters as he stood between them and Dean. "I don't know what the hell is going on here, who you guys really are or where you're from, but here in Stars Hollow, we don't just go around stabbing people for no damn reason!"

"We had a reason! A damn good reason!" He nodded to his brother. "Show him, Sam!"

Sam pulled the crumpled printed-out newspaper article out of his pocket and handed it to Luke. "This woman, Gladys Metz, she disappeared from here on Sunday." He then pulled out his FBI badge. "We came here to investigate."

"Lord, there they go with the fake FBI thing again," Lorelai muttered.

Luke snorted with laughter at reading the article and tossed it back at Sam. "She didn't disappear. She moved to Florida to one of those retirement condo places. She just didn't advertise it to the whole damn town because everybody gets in everybody's damn business too damn much. She only told me she was doing it because she knew I wouldn't blab it all over the place like _some_ people." He cast a pointed glance to Babette and Miss Patty.

Taylor chimed in with a scolding finger at Andrew, "You know, I never like to be the one to say I told you so...but this kind of thing, these two young men showing up here and causing such a ruckus; This is exactly why I told Andrew he should have just left well enough alone when he wanted to put the Stars Hollow Gazette all over the internet. We've gotten along just fine in Stars Hollow for years with a printed newspa-"

Luke rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Taylor!"

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That night curled up on her couch, Luke and Lorelai were talking about the craziness of their day.

"I wonder who those guys really were. Loggins and Messina, my ass! Looking at these two guys and the way you took care of business..."

"So, their mama don't dance and their daddy don't rock n' roll," he chimed in.

"You got it, Babe." Lorelai beamed as she caressed his stubbly face "I'm so proud of you."

"Hey, I DO know some music," he protested.

"Though it still is kind of creepy how the big one looked exactly like Dean."

"Well, I'm not complaining. By the time all the chaos was done, they ran up a sixty-dollar bill at the diner. I'd have never guessed it, but that little one put away a whole boysenberry pie."

"You do make the best pies," She complimented him with a warm smile. "Still creepy though."

"You know what they say, everyone has a twin somewhere."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what Sookie said, too. But wouldn't it be WAY more fun if they were REAL twins, like separated at birth or something? I mean, Dean never did talk much about his time in Chicago..."

"Or if it was like that alien shapeshifter guy on The X-Files...You know, that big ugly guy?"

"And the sci-fi geek is back. Just when I had hope for you."

"Just saying, he was sure big enough."

"Um...dirty!"

"How did I not see that one coming?"

"Dir-"

"Don't say it!" he demanded and shut her up with a fierce kiss.

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On the road in the Impala again the next day, The Winchesters were stopped at a filling station, Dean filling the gas tank while Sam was on his Blackberry doing his usual search of unexplained events looking for their next job.

"I can't believe it turned out to be nothing more than a little old lady moving to a retirement community and a horse who doesn't like to stay penned up," Dean was complaining. "Who the hell names a horse Cletus, anyway?"

"Hmmm..." Sam commented as he read a particular article on a now-familiar website.

"What?" Dean questioned.

"You know that quirky little town we just left, Stars Hollow?"

"Biggest waste of a tank of gas ever," Dean grumbled. "Right, Baby?" He added to the car as he lovingly pattered the Impala's roof.

"Well, maybe not. There might be something there after all," Sam mused, trying to keep a straight face as he handed his brother his phone. "Check this headline out."

" _Dean Doppelganger Terrorizes Town,_ " he read then rolled his eyes and lobbed the phone at Sam. "Bitch!"

"Jerk" Sam replied with a laugh having gotten the desired reaction from his older brother.


	2. Petrie Dish

AN: For this one, I though since I ended the last installment with a mention of _The X-Files_ that it might be fun to have an incognito Mulder and Scully paying a visit to the Dragonfly. In this slightly alternate universe, the events of _I Want to Believe,_ never happened because frankly, that film never made sense to me. On an additional note for those who have never watched _The X-Files,_ the use of the names, Rob and Laura Petrie is a nod to the season 6 episode, "Arcadia" in which Mulder and Scully went undercover using those names.

 _Gilmore Girls_ is the property of Amy Sherman-Palladino and Warner Bros. Television. _The X-Files_ is the property of Ten Thirteen Productions and Twentieth Century Fox Television. This work is intended strictly for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

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"Michel, I cannot believe that we are having this argument again," Lorelai snorted in exasperation. "Luke's fixing the porch rail and that's final!"

"What about Parker? We 'ave a perfectly capable handyman whom we pay an obscene amount of money and you would rather pay your lumberjack an obscene...whatever you pay him with." Michel rolled his eyes in disgust, but then at seeing guests walk in with bags, pasted on a bright smile. "'Allo. Welcome to the Dragonfly. How may we help you?"

"Hi," the bearded man smiled at them. "We have a reservation. We just called yesterday."

"Ahhh, yes," Michel crooned as he began typing on the computer and continued with the slightest of disdain in his voice, "You are very lucky we had an opening since you only called a day in advance."

"Michel," Lorelai scolded in a warning tone.

"How lucky for us," the female guest responded dryly, the Frenchman's sarcasm not lost on her.

"Here, we are, Rob and Laura Petrie," Michel crowed.

Lorelai narrowed her eyes at the couple, while the man jumped in quickly and corrected, "Actually, we pronounce it Pee-trie, like the dish," which quickly earned him a jab in the ribs from his female companion.

"Uh-huh," Lorelai responded skeptically as she reached behind her for the key to their room. "Well, Mr. and Mrs. PEEtrie, you're in room seven, top of the stairs."

"Ow," Mulder hissed rubbing his ribcage as they ascended the stairs toward their room. "Damn, Scully, you've got one mean elbow."

"Rob and Laura Petrie?" she questioned in a harsh whisper. "Really? Again?"

"What? It's kind of our thing now." He smiled at her in an attempt to get back in her good graces.

She only glowered at him as he opened the door to their room. "Didn't I tell you that if we ever went undercover again, **I** got to choose the names?"

"Well, we're not exactly undercover, are we?" He closed the door behind them and began speaking in a normal voice instead of whispering. "We don't work for the FBI anymore. In fact, if you recall, Scully, they're hunting us down at the moment."

"Which is precisely my point, Mulder!" she argued. "Why the hell would you use a cover name that we used while we were still working for the FBI? AND a ridiculous one at that? Don't you think that MIGHT just lead them to us?"

"No, as a matter of fact. No, I don't. They have to figure that we'd be smart enough NOT to use any names that we've used before and that we'd never dare take that chance. That's why Rob and Laura Petrie is perfect."

She shook her head. "Mulder, you're crazy."

He shrugged."It's been said before."

"This time, I really mean it, Mulder! I mean, I've been out on some crazy limbs with you, but this is by far the craziest! You were convicted of murder and sentenced to die for God's sake and you act like it's a big joke! I've given up everything for you! My family, my career, my whole damn life!" She tugged at a strand of her dyed hair. "Look at this! I can't even have my red hair anymore!"

"Oh, come on, Scully," he replied with a hint of mischief in his eyes. "You and I both know you were never a real redhead to begin with."

"Do you think this is funny?" she questioned, but she couldn't help the spark of a smile that had begun at the corner of her mouth. _Damn him,_ she thought.

"Look, I'm just trying to make the best of a bad situation," he explained in a more serious tone as he wrapped his arms around her and planted a kiss to the top of her head. He released her and gestured to the bags they'd brought in. "Come on, Laura, let's at least get settled in and get some rest. We've been on the road way too long and I think it's starting to get to both of us."

"Yeah." She had to admit that he was right.

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"You are NOT going to believe this one," Lorelai exclaimed as she entered the diner for her usual lunch.

"Let me guess," Luke replied, "Michel's having a fit about me coming over later to fix the porch rail."

"No...well, yes, but that's not what I was talking about. What I'm talking about is our new guests at the inn named...catch this...Rob and Laura Petrie."

"You're kidding." Luke laughed.

"Oh no, my friend. I am not."

"They bring Buddy and Sally with them too? Maybe little Richie?"

"Go ahead and mock, but the funnier part is how obvious it is that they are not using their real names. The guy jumped in WAY too quick to say," she lowered her voice to mimic Mulder, "Oh, we pronounce it PEE-trie, like the dish." Back to her normal voice, she added, "I thought his wife, or whoever she is was gonna flatten him. As it was, she elbowed him a good one in the ribs. With the looks those two were giving each other, it was like watching Sam and Diane about ready to go at it, where you're not quite sure if they're going to kill each other or take it to their room and start making like bunnies."

"Some in this town have said that about you and me," he pointed out.

"Ouch! No bunny action for you for a while." she pouted.

He leaned in and gave her a flirty smile. "Suits me just fine. I'm not much for the bunny action anyway. Too fast and frenzied. I much prefer to take my time."

Their conversation was interrupted by the ringing of the bell above the door snapping them back to reality. "I'll get your lunch order put in," Luke said before nodding to the well-dressed man and woman who'd just walked it. "Just sit anywhere. I'll be with you in a minute."

"Actually, we're not here to eat," the man responded in a gruff business-like tone as he pulled his ID out of his pocket. "My name is John Doggett." He nodded to his companion. "This is Monica Reyes. We're with the FBI."

"Here we go again," Lorelai muttered as she slid off her stool at the counter and glared at the pair. "What is it with you people and your fake FBI badges? Do you think that because this is a small town, we're all stupid or something? First Loggins and Messina last week, then I've got Rob and Laura Petrie at my inn, now you two. What the hell kind of name is Doggett anyway?"

"I assure you, these are quite real," Monica replied in her gentle tone. "You mentioned your inn. Are you Lorelai Gilmore, by chance, the owner of The Dragonfly Inn?"

Lorelai folder her arms across her chest and petulantly answered, "So? I haven't done anything wrong that the FBI needs to be here!"

"Look, Lady-" Doggett began, but Monica held up a hand to stop him. He gave her a perturbed look, but shut up. He'd learned by now, it was no use arguing with her.

"No, we know you haven't. It's not you we're investigating, but the couple you just mentioned who are staying at your inn...Rob and Laura Petrie."

"PEE-trie," Lorelai corrected.

"Figures," Doggett muttered.

"John," Monica scolded before turning back to Lorelai. "We were just there and your concierge was very uncooperative, but he said we might find you here."

"Michel being uncooperative...imagine that," Luke chimed in.

"But the guests love him," Lorelai argued.

"Only because they're on a sugar high from all of Sookie's syrupy-sweet confections and are too out of their minds to know any better," Luke countered.

"Can we get back to the point here?" Doggett snapped impatiently. "Rob and Laura Petrie, Peetrie, whatever they hell their names are. We need to know what room they're in. It's a matter of life and death!"

"Whose?" Lorelai questioned.

"Theirs," Monica and Doggett answered in unison, then Monica explained further. "Look, we can't really go into detail, but there are some very bad people after them who've tracked them down the same way that we did and we need to let them know so they can get out of town before these guys catch up to them."

"Room seven," Lorelai told them.

"Thank you," Monica answered politely and the two quickly made their exit.

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While unwinding from the day, Luke listened attentively that night while idly channel surfing on Lorelai's couch as she babbled about the events that had occurred at the inn. "So, by the time I finished my lunch...an excellent lunch on your part, by the way...all hell was breaking loose at the inn."

"How so?" he asked.

"Well, for starters those two FBI agents...assuming they really were FBI agents...were there and there was this other guy also with an FBI badge who was hounding Michel. I thought the poor guy was going to pee his pants; That is until the other two stopped the FBI-ish guy by firing their guns at him."

"FBI-ish?" He looked at her with a curious eyebrow.

"Well, who knows if he was really FBI or not with all the fake feds we've been getting around here lately. I was freaked out to say the least."

"I bet."

"That's not even the freakiest part. After the two of them emptied their entire clips into him...or what I think were their entire clips, 'cause you know me...I know nothing about guns. But anyway, after all that, the guy gets up as if nothing ever happened, dusts himself off and then starts chasing those two while the other two come barreling down the stairs running through the kitchen and out the back door, scaring Sookie half to death. I'm telling you it was spooky, like something out of one of those show you like to watch."

"Wait! You lost me. Which two scared Sookie half to death, Rob and Laura or Buddy and Sally?"

"Rob and Laura," she clarified. "Dog-boy and his girlfriend, partner, whoever-she-was, ran out the front, I think as a decoy so that Rob and Laura could run out the back."

"Okay, gotcha," Luke nodded as he paused in his channel surfing. "Oh, hey, look. The sci-fi channel is having an X-Files marathon."

"Hey!" Lorelai nudged him. "That guy, Rob Petrie, Peetrie, whatever-his-name-was, looks just like Mulder."

"What?"

"Yes...I mean, a few years older and with a beard, but damn, they could be twins."

"And you're sure you're not just embellishing a little?" he questioned.

Lorelai rolled her eyes at him. "Me? Embellish? Please," she scoffed.

"Maybe with what happened with that guy who looked like Dean last week, your mind is just playing tricks on you."

"I know what I saw, _Scully_ ," she argued. "Besides, even if that were true, how do you explain that guy getting up after he was shot two-thousand times?"

"Two-thousand times? With a pair of FBI-issued handguns?" He gave her a disbelieving look. "But you're _not_ embellishing?"

"Okay, maybe I'm embellishing that part a little, but I wasn't exactly counting how many times they shot him 'cause...hello, there was shooting going on. By the way, on that note, I'm gonna have some more work for you to do to repair the bullet holes at the reception desk." When Luke nodded, she continued, "Still it doesn't matter how many times they shot him, they shot him...a LOT. Again...spooky."

"OR maybe it's not as spooky as you described it. If the guy really _was_ an FBI agent, maybe he was wearing Kevlar or something."

"Skeptic," Lorelai deadpanned as she settled in against his shoulder to watch his show with him.


	3. F-B-Pie

AN: Sorry for the delay in updates on this fic. Real life intruded for a while, but I have not abandoned this story. For this installment, I wanted to add a fun twist to Cletus' penchant for misbehavior. I hope you enjoy it. Many thanks to my beta team of Janet and Sheila who helped make this chapter better with their suggestions.

 _Gilmore Girls_ is the property of Amy Sherman-Palladino and Warner Bros. Television. _Twin Peaks_ is the property of, Lynch/Frost Productions, Propaganda Films (in association with Spelling Entertainment and Twin Peaks Productions

"Well, this was unexpected," Dale Cooper shook his head and tried to get his bearings. He'd finally found a way to escape the Black Lodge, but the problem was that he didn't know where or even precisely _when_ he'd emerged. Glancing around the wooden enclosure, it didn't take him long to figure out that he was in a stable of some sort, an empty horse stall to be more accurate. Fortunately for him, the stall was open. Not so fortunately, it smelled very much as if it hadn't been unoccupied for long.

He stepped out and examined himself from head to toe and found that under the circumstances, he didn't look too bad, a little dusty, but not bad. He brushed himself off and exited the barn. He spotted the front of a larger building ahead bearing a sign on it, _Dragonfly Inn._ He paused in his walk when he heard the distinct sound of whinnying. He followed the sound to the back of the building and he couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him when he saw what he assumed to be the occupant of the stall he'd just vacated happily munching on a neatly planted garden alongside the building near the back door.

As he approached, he gazed at the horse and mused, "Something tells me you're not supposed to be here," then rapped firmly on the back door of the inn.

"Jackson, since when do you knock," a pleasant woman with a round face holding a dish towel questioned. "Oh, you're not Jackson. I'm so sorry. I was expecting my husband with our produce delivery."

"It seems that you're expecting more than that," he replied with a nod to her rounded abdomen.

Sookie beamed. "Yep. This is baby number two. Can I help you with something? You know, deliveries usually go to the front to check in with Lorelai or Michel first."

"My apologies." He retrieved his badge from his pocket. "Special Agent Dale Cooper, at your serv-" He abruptly had the door slammed in his face as he heard the woman calling for Lorelai.

The door was then flung open wider than it had been before and a taller, brown-haired woman stepped out and eyed his badge. "Another one? Seriously? What is it with Stars Hollow and-" Her words were cut off as she spied the quadruped and gasped, "Cletus!" She then turned to her companion. "Um...Sookie...Did you fail to notice a straying stallion munching on your herb garden out here?"

"NOOOOO!" Sookie ran out the back door and waved her towel wildly at him. "Cletus, bad! Shoo!"

"I got him, Sook," Lorelai replied as she tugged on his halter. "Come on, you nuisance nag. Let's get you back where you belong." As she led him back to the barn, she muttered, "We should have name you Rasputin."

"Rasputin?" Coop questioned as he walked with Lorelai and Cletus. "Does your horse do this sort of thing often?"

"Does Jack Nicholson have anger management issues?" Lorelai retorted.

"I'm sorry. I don't follow."

"You know, Jack Nicholson...the actor? Smashed some guy's windshield in a fit of road rage?" When receiving a blank stare in return, Lorelai gave up and went to work penning Cletus back up in his stall now that they'd reached the barn.

To fill the awkward silence, Coop flashed her a toothy grin and asked, "So, are you the proprietor of this fine establishment?"

She nodded as she closed the latch on the stall and barked, "Now, stay put!" She turned to Coop and inquired, "You need a place to stay?"

"Indeed I do, Miss...?"

"Gilmore. Lorelai Gilmore," she introduced herself. "Come on inside." She gestured toward the front door. "You're in luck. Room seven was just very abruptly vacated." As they entered the foyer, she called to Michel, "Is housekeeping done with room seven?"

"How should I know?" The surly Frenchman rolled his eyes.

"Um...maybe because as the manager, it's your job to know," Lorelai countered.

"Oh, silly me. I did not realize that I am now responsible for babysitting imbeciles to ensure they are doing a job that a well-trained circus monkey could do."

"But you just can't train those damn circus monkeys to do a decent hospital corner," she quipped. She rolled her eyes at Michel and in her sternest "boss" voice, insisted, "Can you check?"

"All this work for a man who can't even bother to keep his wardrobe updated," Michel grumbled as he cast a disdainful look at Coop's fourteen-year-old suit before grudgingly walked away to do as he was told.

"I'm sorry about the wait, Mr...?"

"Cooper. Special Agent Dale Cooper, at your service."

"Uh-huh," she answered skeptically. "I'll tell you what Agent Cooper, why don't we get you a cup of coffee while you wait."

"Coffee?" He grinned broadly. "I've love some coffee."

"Great! I was just getting ready to head to my boyfriend's diner for lunch. He makes the best coffee in town and I can't live without my java."

"Not here?" he questioned in confusion. "If you're a coffee lover, why wouldn't you have good coffee here in your inn?"

"Oh, we have good coffee here, but the best is at _Luke's_. Believe me, if I had any control over the kitchen, we'd have coffee so strong, it would put He-Man to shame. My business partner, Sookie, the one you scared; she's in charge of everything in the kitchen."

" _Luke's_ it is then. I'm in. Lead the way." He grinned again. After who knows how long of being stuck in the Black Lodge, coffee sounded like heaven.

Heaven is exactly what he thought it was when he saw the quaint small-town diner. When he and Lorelai walked in together, he was even charmed by the bell over the door.

Lorelai approached the counter and Coop followed suit taking a seat beside her. "Hey, Babe," she called to Luke. "I need a mega mug of coffee when you get time. And by, 'when you get time,' I mean as soon as humanly possible."

"Keep your shirt on," Luke grumbled as he finished his task of handing an order slip off to Caesar in the kitchen.

"Huh, not what you said last night," she fired back.

"Just coffee?" Luke asked, ignoring her comment.

"Bacon cheeseburger, extra crisp bacon, double order of fries too."

Coop's grin widened at the woman's taste in food. "The same for me and slice of your scrumptious-looking cherry pie," he added cheerfully.

While Luke worked to turn in their orders and pour their coffee, Coop picked up the newspaper lying on the counter. "So...what year do we have?"

Luke turned to set down the filled coffee cups and looked at him in disdain, taking Coop's appearance and with his usual sarcastic tone, asked, "Who are you, Marty McFly?"

"Special Agent Dale Cooper." Coop answered as he took a sip of his coffee. 'That's one damn fine cup of coffee, Sir."

Luke nodded to Lorelai and responded dryly, "So, I've been told. Here." He pointed to the date on the Stars Hollow Gazette. "Where do you find these guys," he muttered to Lorelai as he grabbed the coffee pot and bustled through the diner to refill cups.

"He's right, you know," Lorelai confirmed. "I DO sing the praises of his coffee-making skills on a regular basis." She pointed to the menu. "If you really like pie, though, you should try the boysenberry. It's SO much better than the cherry."

"Boysenberry, really?"

Lorelai nodded. "It's the Sistine Chapel of pies. It's the Mona Lisa of pies. It's the Pie Who Loved Me. It's the Pie of the Tiger. It's the Apple of my Pie-"

"Apple? What happened to Boysenberry?" Coop teased.

"Oh, just figurative apples," Lorelai explained and then began singing, "When the moon hits your eye, it's THIS berry pie. It's amore'."

Now laughing at her antics, Coop interrupted her singing with, "What makes you such an expert on pies?"

"I have eaten more pies than I can count. Trust me. I am the Good-Pie Girl. I'm the Lord of the Pies. I'm the-"

"Why did you get her started," Luke groused with a roll of his eyes as he returned the coffee pot to its home. "So, you changing to the boysenberry then?"

"I think I shall," Coop replied with a smile.

"Good. I've been down to one slice for the last hour and have been dying to unload it so I can get out the peach." He smirked at Lorelai.

"Luke!" Lorelai cried

"What? You sold him on the pie."

"But I'm your girlfriend," she complained. "Doesn't that give me boysenberry pie-holding privileges?"

"But you didn't order pie. He did," Luke pointed out.

"But now I want pie."

"Peach, cherry or apple?" Luke questioned addressing her as he would any other customer.

"So not fair," she pouted as she folded her arms across her chest. "Someone won't be seeing any peach or cherry action tonight."

"I'll live," Luke replied, unfazed by her threat. "The question is, will you?"

With a sigh, she said, "Like Eve said to the snake, give me the apple." She paused for a beat and then grinned at him. "But hold the snake...until later."

"You got it." He nodded and grinned as he turned back to the kitchen to check on the status of orders.

"Hey," she whispered to Coop."I'll give you a break on your room if you trade me pies."

"Lorelai!" Luke scolded as he whipped around to face her.

At hearing her boyfriend's stern voice, she turned her attention back to her coffee cup. "You know, Hon, you really do make the best coffee. I was just telling _Agent_ Cooper that before we got here." She gave him a bright smile.

"Flattery will get you nowhere," Luke fired back.

"No need," Coop responded graciously. "If the boysenberry is her favorite pie, I'll just stick with my original order of the cherry."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," she gushed.

"Well, seeing as how you were quite literally singing the praises of this pie and since it's probably my fault that your horse escaped his confines, it's the least that I can do."

"Do NOT let her bully you," Luke inserted.

"Hey, a deal's a deal. Just ask Monty Hall."

"Whatever," Luke conceded knowing that it was no use arguing with her. "I'm just gonna' go check on your burgers."

After lunch, Lorelai gave Coop a tour of Stars Hollow. As they were walking back to the inn, she queried, "So, what did you mean when you said it was your fault that Cletus got loose?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." As he spoke, he couldn't help wondering what had become of Bob, who he knew had been occupying his body. He knew he'd been able to harness the power of the lodge to oust him months ago, but had only just now been able to return to it himself. "Let's just say that I don't come from around here."

"Duh. I know that. I know everyone in Stars Holl-oh crap!" Lorelai shook her head. "I can't believe this! That frolicking fleabag is loose again." She strode quickly to where Cletus was now munching on the flowerbeds in front of the inn. "I don't get it. I _know_ I latched that stupid door."

"Allow me," Coop offered and inserted himself between her and the horse. "I've handled a horse or two in my day."

"You don't have to-"

"I insist." Coop then took hold of Cletus' halter and led him back to the barn again. As he closed the stall door behind him, he really looked at the horse who was bobbing his head in agitation. As he made eye contact, he chuckled heartily. "There you are! You won't be getting out of that host anytime soon, will you, Bob?"


	4. Cooking up a Storm

Disclaimer: "Castle" is owned by Beacon Pictures, Experimental Pictures and ABC Studios. This work is for entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: For this visit, since I've been setting this story during season five of GG and "Castle" did not begin until 2009, these events take place pre-series for that show when Rick Castle was still writing Derek Storm novels.

 **Cooking up a Storm**

When the tall man walked in Lorelai gasped. "Michel, look who it is!"

Just as Michel looked up, the man flashed a bright smile and introduced himself. "Hi, I'm Rick Castle. I have a reservation."

"No way!" She elbowed Michel. "See?"

Michel rolled his eyes as he worked on the computer. "I don't have a reservation for a Rick Castle," he replied coolly.

Lorelai looked over at the screen and pointed. "Michel, it's right there. Richard Castle."

"There? Oh, silly me," he uttered sarcastically. "It seems that I'm just supposed to read this gentleman's mind when he doesn't provide me with his legal name."

Lorelai, hands on her hips stared at him for a moment as if he were from another planet. "Don't you know who this is?" She gestured wildly to the man in front of her. "This is _Richard Castle_."

Rick beamed at her. "You've heard of me?"

"I've read all your books, Mr. Castle. So has my daughter, Rory." She knew she was becoming a gushing fangirl, but she didn't care. "So, any plans for a new one?"

He gestured to the laptop bag on his shoulder. "That's why I'm here. You know, get away from the distractions in the big city so I can really focus on writing."

"Well, we are honored to have you here at the Dragonfly."

"Speak for yourself," Michel muttered as he tapped his foot impatiently. He gave Rick Castle a pointed look. "We will need a credit card to check you in."

"Oh, yes," Rick gave him an apologetic look as he reached for his wallet.

"You know, Michel, I think it's about your break time." She clapped him on the back. "Why don't you go take it now and I'll finish checking Mr. Castle in?"

"I have already taken my break," Michel protested.

"Michel," she gave him a warning look.

He let out a huff and said, "Fine. I will go."

"So...new book?" Lorelai questioned after Michel was gone and she reached for the card in Rick's outstretched hand. "What are you gonna' call this one?" She swiped his card and handed it back to him.

"Well, actually-" he began as he put his card away, but was interrupted by Lorelai's exuberance.

"Storm Cellar, Blinding Storm-"

"Ooh...now, there's a thought. I could have Derek Storm suffer from hysterical blindness. That would be a twist I haven't used yet. To be honest, I don't have a title for this one at the moment, but if I think of one before I leave, I'll let you know."

"Well, you're all checked in. You're in room seven, top of the stairs." She handed him his key.

"Lucky number seven," he crooned. "I can feel my writer's block slipping away already. I just met you and I already feel like I'd follow you blind through a storm at midnight." He started for the stairs, but then turned and added, "Oh, and I'd appreciate if you didn't let anyone in town know I was here."

"Will do," Lorelai promised. Once he was out of sight, she quickly picked up the phone and dialed her daughter's cell. "Rory, you will never believe who just checked into the inn."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Several hours later, Lorelai descended the stairs after checking on the housekeeping staff to find Luke at the bottom of the stairs, toolbox at his feet. "You get that banister all fixed up?"

Luke looked up from his task. "I just started on it."

She blinked in confusion. "But you got here an hour ago."

"I was going to get to it right away, but then Michel handed me a whole list of stuff that needed done. He does realize that I don't work for you, right?"

"No, you just work IT for me," she teased.

He rolled his eyes. "Well, then did you realize there's a guy in your dining room that's been sitting there forever?" He waved an arm at the doorway of the dining room. "At least he's been there the whole time I've been here and Sookie was out here a minute ago with that...look. You know the one."

"Yes, I knew he was there. That's Richard Castle."

"The mystery writer? The one who writes all the Derek Storm books?"

"One and the same." She nodded excitedly. "He's working on his newest book."

"Then what's Sookie so bugged about? You'd think it would be good for you to have a famous guy like that here, especially working on his book. You can say something like 'Come stay at the Dragonfly where Storm of the Century was written...or something. Might drum up more business for you."

"That title's already taken by Stephen King and he'd kick my ass if I used it," Rick interjected from the dining room.

Both heads turned to look at him. "You know Stephen King?"

Rick shrugged. "Sure. He's one of my poker buddies."

"Well, I'd better go talk to Sookie and calm her down." Lorelai walked through the dining room and into the kitchen. "Hey, Sook. What's going on?"

Sookie immediately flew at her flailing her arms wildly. "That...that _man_ out there has been sitting there taking up space in MY dining room for the better part of two hours ordering nothing but...coffee!"

"Sookie, you gotta' calm down."

"No, no, no. I can't calm down. I just got my lunches back. I can't lose them again."

"Sookie, you're not gonna' lose your lunches again. Mr. Castle is a guest of the inn and he's here to work on his new novel."

"Oh no!' Sookie cried. "Oh, God, it's Norman Mailer all over again!"

"Well, would that be so bad? I mean, yes, we had to put the lunch menu on hold when he was here, but you also found out you were pregnant then too."

"Oh, God! What if I find out I'm having twins? Jackson would freak out. He's already doing that freaky thing with the calculator again."

"Sookie!" She grasped her friend by the shoulders. "Sookie, listen to me, everything's fine. You're not having twins, you're not losing your lunches, and this could be really good for our business if word gets out that he wrote his newest bestseller here, okay?"

"Okay, okay."

"Now, I'm gonna' go out there and see if Mr. Castle needs anything. Are you gonna' be okay?"

"I'm okay." Sookie nodded. At seeing the panic leave her friend's eyes, she returned to the dining room to find him typing furiously.

"You doing okay, Mr. Castle?"

"Mm-hmm," he mumbled, his mind lost in the words on the page.

"Come up with a title yet?"

He let out a sigh and looked up at her. "Not yet...though I'm still thinking about your Blinding Storm."

"Or you could do Kick up a Storm...maybe Derek Storm gets his ass kicked. Or Storm in a Teacup...maybe he..." She paused as she thought for a moment. "...uh...takes a trip to Disneyland."

Rick shook his head. "No. I don't think so."

"But what if there was a murder at Disneyland?"

"The happiest place on earth? Uh-uh."

Lorelai thought some more. "Uh...Storm Clouds...Storm Window."

"What could I possibly do with Storm Window?"

"Maybe someone throws him out of one?"

"Nah." He scratched his head as Sookie entered from the kitchen.

"Mr. Castle, I was just wondering," Sookie began nervously as she tried to keep her calm. "Are you gonna' be here much longer?" When Lorelai glared at her, she added, "Oh, I mean it's fine if you are, but it's just that, well, dinner's going to be starting soon and I...uh...I'll need to know if the table is going to be free or if you're going to be eating dinner or..." She fidgeted. "'Cause you know, I'm the chef here."

"And co-owner," Lorelai reminded her.

"Oh, right. I always forget that part, but you know, that's probably because I'm always in the kitchen...you know, just cooking up a storm."

"That's it!" Rick shouted.

"What's it?"

"Cooking up a Storm. That's what I'll call my new book."

"Really?" Lorelai questioned. "After all the suggestions I gave you?"

"Yes, it's perfect! I've always wanted to write one set in a restaurant where some grisly thing happens with the Cuisinart or one of those big industrial ovens." He began typing again. "Yes, this will work!" He then looked up at Sookie and asked, "So, you said something about dinner? That sounds great! I'm famished after all this writing."

"Well...uh...it...uh won't be ready to serve for at least another hour," Sookie stammered nervously.

"No problem," Luke chimed in as he entered the room, toolbox in hand. "I was just getting ready to head back to my diner to get ready for MY dinner rush. You're welcome to tag along. Some of us serve food whenever people want it." He gave Sookie a pointed look.

"Diner, you say? You know, I could use a good, thick, juicy burger. Brain food." He packed up his laptop and slung the bag over his shoulder. "Lead the way."

"You're leaving?" Sookie pouted.

"Well, you wanted me out of your dining room. Presto!"

"It really is Norman Mailer all over again," Sookie pouted as she made her way back to the kitchen.

"You know, I think I'll go with you," Lorelai chimed in "I haven't had my dinner yet either and Luke makes the best burgers." She linked her arm with Luke's free one and the trio headed out.

When they reached the town square they were all startled by the blaring of trumpets, followed by Taylor's voice on a loudspeaker. "Stars Hollow would like to welcome bestselling novelist, Richard Castle!" He waved his arm in a grand, sweeping gesture at Rick.

Luke, disgusted by the parade up Main Street blocking the entrance to the diner, stomped up the steps of the gazebo where Taylor stood and demanded, "Just what the hell is going on here?"

"Well, Luke, it's not every day that we have someone as famous as _Richard Castle_ visit Stars Hollow. We need to revel in this moment and celebrate it."

"Why don't you just revel your ass on back to the market and get that..." He gestured wildly to the fanfare in front of the diner. "...circus out of the way of my restaurant!"

"Did you tell anyone I was here," Rick hissed in Lorelai's ear.

"Just my daughter, but she doesn't live here. She's at Yale." When Rick glared at her, she responded, "What? You just told me not to tell anyone in town and she isn't in town."

"Well, did you tell her not to tell anyone?"

"Apparently not because she called Lane," Taylor explained "And Lane told her band and Gil told Mrs. Cassini and you know how those things go." He stepped down from the gazebo, approached Rick and vigorously shook his hand. "We are so honored to have you here. I'm Taylor Doose, Town Selectman and I own the market and the soda shop and I have it on good authority that you have chosen our humble town as the place to write your newest novel."

Looking at Taylor's swaggering posture and the fanfare surrounding him, he responded dryly, "Yeah, I can see just how humble it is. But I'm thinking this just might not be the right place to quietly write, after all."


End file.
